The Nyazian Prophecies

"This is a horrible idea," Salome insisted as Connor dragged her along. "Need I remind you that only two weeks ago you were in prison facing a possible life sentence."

Connor turned back to Salome, grabbing her wrist in both his hands. "Then who more than me deserves some time away from the Hellmouth?"

Salome was attempting to drag her feet. "There's also the second of three Hellgods we have to track down; and, oh yeah, the fissures threatening to engulf all of humanity into a cesspool of demonic, primordial chaos and destruction."

Connor bridged the gap between him and Salome, wrapping an arm around her waist. "You're cute when you talk about cesspools of chaos." He gave her a firm kiss.

"This is not a good time to be taking a siesta," Salome pointed out. She looked wary as a large red demon went past her. "And frankly, I'm wondering how safe we are here."

"Okay, where is the girl I fell in love with?" Connor asked. "The girl who got drunk and sang American Pie with me the day before the Hellmouth was going to open and unleash hell on Earth?"

"She is extremely out of her element," Salome said, looking around. "What makes you think this is something that would make me feel comfortable?" She looked around frantically as if trying to find a reason amongst the people milling about. "What about your father? He's still lost in Nepal."

Connor pulled a piece of paper out of his coat. "Nice try. Got a fax today from the Council. Forwarded from Nepal." He looked to the page. "Connor- I'm all right. Don't try to find me. Need to do something. Angel." He turned the page back to Salome. "It's his handwriting and everything." He tucked the paper back into his pocket and placed his hands on Salome's hips leaning in and nuzzling her cheek with his nose. "The Council has made it very clear, they want us out of the way while they examine the fissures up close and personal. Our house is currently filled to capacity with Watchers who know a hell of a lot more about tears in reality that we do."

"My species invented interdimensional fissures," Salome protested. She stopped cold. "And I'm not exaggerating. Seriously, we invented them."

"And that would be a very convincing argument if you ever paid attention to your studies." Connor rubbed Salome's hip idly. "I love you, but you and book learning don't pair well. Besides, Meerna is there, along with Willow and, like, a dozens Slayers." His lower lip jutted out. "Come on, Baby... I didn't get to go away for my birthday. So let's make this our getaway weekend."

"This is a lot different than what I had planned for your birthday..." Salome pointed out.

"Then do it for Andrew and Jamie," Connor added. He tugged on Salome's hand again. "You're going to love it. Trust me."

As Connor dragged Salome along, she glanced up at the sign which read Welcome to the San Jose 19th Annual Comic Expo.

"Get those Mcfarlanes on the board!" Andrew cried excitedly as he used his packing knife to open another box. He was dressed in brown and white robes and wearing a fake beard, his hair comb down in a very neat and prim style. Pinned to his robe was a nametag and underneath a ribbon which read EXHIBITOR.

"Mister Wells, if you are not careful, you will suffer from Cardiac Arrest," Oni pointed out as she took the toys out of the box and placed them on hooks on the pegboard behind their table. She was dressed in a seventies-style outfit of brown harem pants and a tunic top with a flower-print shirt over top. She wore a brown wig, styled in a flip. "And you are needed to work the booth for the weekend."

"I finally got her here," Connor announced as he walked to the table, holding hands with Salome. "But we're probably going to take off tonight to find some vampires."

Andrew looked up from his box. "But you'll miss Klingon Karaoke!" He frowned deeply.

Salome looked at Andrew askance. "And somehow I'll live on..." He looked Andrew up and down. "Beardman?"

"I'm Obi-Wan Kenobi!" Andrew insisted, gesturing to his outfit. "Come on, how can you not get that?" He grabbed the fake lightsaber on his belt and waved it around. "See?"

"Last I saw, you were trying to choose between three other costumes," Connor commented, taking the shiv out of the back of his jeans and splitting open a box. "Why'd you finally go with the Jedi Master?"

"Hey, got the rest of the stuff out of my car." Matty strode to the table, carrying two boxes. He was dressed in black robes with a large scar over his eye. He also had a lightsaber hanging from his belt. "If you guys are going to do this more, you should get transportation with better storage."

"I am Phoenix, the love interest from the cult seventies classic Phantom of the Paradise." She beamed. "Crawford will be here in a moment in his costume. He is, however, having some trouble with the leather pants he must wear as the Phantom himself."

"Thanks for coming guys," Andrew said to his friends, smiling. "This really means a lot to me."

"So what do we do?" A man dressed in a Batman costume asked to his companion, who was garbed as V from V for Vendetta.

"He's certainly got himself a nice little gang, doesn't he?" V laughed coldly. "All perky and fun and heroic." His laughter increased. "This is going to be fun."


Vincent Kartheiser	Anna Paquin	Bret Harrison	Kou Shibasaki	Allison Mack	and Tom Lenk

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Based on the Characters by Joss Whedon	Created by Emcee

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Guest Starring

Adam Busch
Caleb Kane
James Franco
Archie Kao
Adam Brody

Written by

Emcee

"Yo-Ho, me mateys, Yo-Ho!" Jamie announced as he swaggered to the table, holding his hands up as he showed off his Jack Sparrow costume. "So did I bring it, or did I bring it?"

"I think you look hot, Jamie," Matty insisted. "Very Depp. Did Mandy help you with the makeup?"

Mandy picked up her long skirt as she walked to the table. "Actually, Jay did it himself." She smiled. "He's surprisingly talented." She stood beside Jamie. "Okay, I know they weren't an actual couple, but..." She gestured between herself and Jamie. "How do we look?"

"You look very piratey," Oni said distractedly, looking behind them. "Crawford is..."

"I'm right here," Crawford rasped, rubbing his chest lightly. He was wearing a tight black leather bodysuit with a silver, bird-like helmet. He stopped beside Oni and gave her an awkward kiss on the cheek.

"So we all got dressed up," Andrew pointed out, looking to Connor and Salome. "So you two aren't going to get into this at all? Come on, this is our only weekend off until probably the end of the universe. Get into the spirit of things."

Connor put a hand on Salome's cheek. "Salome, you are beautiful and adventurous, but sometimes... You're no fun." He grinned. "You're dressing up with me."

Salome sighed. "The things I do for my geek-boy." She leaned in and gave him a quick kiss. "If you insist... All right." She held her hands together, as if Connor were leading her way in handcuffs. "Do with me as you must, Destroyer. I am at your mercy."

"Actually put on your costumes!" Andrew called after them. "And you two have to work during dinner if you're going vamp-hunting!"

Several con-goers looked at Andrew as if he were crazy. He smiled nervously. "It's a... Ummm... Van Helsing interactive game."

A boy in a Blade t-shirt came over to the table. "You know where they're doing sign-ups for that?"

The boy wandered off and Andrew smiled at Matty. "You're pretty good on your feet."

Andrew blushed profusely before looking to Jamie, Oni, Mandy and Crawford. "Uh, you guys can go look around. Matty and I can take the first shift here."

"Fantastic!" Jamie grinned at he put an arm around Mandy's waist. "Come on. This year I want to show these guys I've got a hot girl on my arm!"

Mandy shook her head and allowed Jamie to lead her along. "Do you come here every year?"

Oni skipped along. "Come on, Crawford! There is a panel on Demons and Ghosts I would be most interested in attending."

"She'll have fun." Matty assured Andrew, patting him on the shoulder. "Besides, Jensen Ackles is wicked hot."

"Totally is," Matty nodded. "Now that's a car you can fight evil in. Your Beetle, no offense, will make demons die... Of laughter. And the Viper just makes Connor look snobby. Like he's too good to get blood on his shirt."

"You have a lot of opinions for someone who hasn't gone patrolling with me yet," Andrew smirked at Matty.

"Oh!" Matty put a hand to his heart. "Are you challenging me, Mister Wells? To show off my skills in demon killage?"

"Guess it's not the best time to talk," Matty whispered. "With all of this comic-hungry teenagers around."

Andrew nodded. "It's my weekend off from all things Hellmouthy. But when we get back to Palo Alto... I'd love to teach you a thing or two."

V peered back over his shoulder and watched as Andrew and Matty laughed together.

"That was most disheartening," Oni sighed as Crawford held the door open and led her out of the conference room. "I did not realize the discussion would be about the sexual tension between two brothers." She shook her head. "Humans can be quite odd at times."

"Maybe we should see if there is a Demon, Monster and Witch Convention you can go to," Crawford suggested, walking down the hall alongside Oni. "You know, you can exchange spells and demon mating rituals."

"Oh!" Oni clapped her hands. "There is an Annual Ethnodemonologist Conference in Burma in July. Perhaps we can go to that?"

Oni turned to Crawford. "I know you are enjoying socializing with normal humans while concealed in your costume, but I do not think I am in my component here. Perhaps I should return to Palo Alto to help Miss Rosenberg with her readings on the Hellmouth."

"The Council told you and Andrew to keep out of the way," Crawford reminded her. "They just want the weekend to examine things."

Oni nodded. "Of course. New ocular devices on the problem." She reached down and took Crawford's hand in hers. "What do you suggest we do here?"

Crawford hesitated for a moment. "Well..." He shifted uncomfortably. "There's a hotel room upstairs. For us. Just you and me."

"We have not properly discussed taking the next step in our burgeoning relationship." Oni worried her lower lip.

Oni pulled Crawford into the hotel room, pulling off his helmet and kissing him fiercely, pushing him up against the door. Crawford tugged off her over shirt and went to work on her tunic.

Oni pulled back a bit. "You are aware nearly every initial coupling that occurs amongst my friends results in one or both of the participants nearly being killed?"

Jamie grinned and looked around at the convention goers gathered in the hotel lobby. Some were getting coffee at the kiosk, others were deep in discussion and there was a huge line-up for the elevator. "You know, I spent a lot of time in a world of vampires, demons and other supernatural baddies... And for once I finally feel at home." He outstretched his hands. "My people..."

Jamie turned back around and saw a man in a long brown coat and an even longer multi-coloured scarf in front of him. A floppy brown hat obscured his face.

"And what is that?" Jamie asked. His expression brightened. "Oh! No way!" He raced forward and grabbed off the man's hat, revealing Connor. "That is all sorts of awesome."

"Doctor who?" Mandy asked, shaking her head fractionally. Both Connor and Jamie broke into pearls of uncontrollable laughter. They trailed off when they saw she was not joking.

Jamie put a hand to his heart. "Oh, Mandy... We really need to go back into geek training. If you and I are going to be together... No, just no. You must know the genius that is Baker."

"Even I know who Tom Baker is," Salome pointed out, stepping out from behind Connor. She was dressed in a tight black-striped shorts and a blue sailor shirt with a straw hat. Her usually violet hair had been glamored blonde. "Unfortunately... I also know who Lalla Ward is."

Salome rolled her eyes. "I was lobbying for Death from Sandman, but this has been some sort of fantasy of his--" She gestured to Connor. "--Ever since I told him Nyazian rebirth is called 'Regeneration'."

"I take the blame," Jamie sighed. "Freshmen year, Connor and I used to spend the weekends having marathons of Doctor Who."

Salome glared at Connor, though it was clearly in mocking. "Sometimes I can't believe I let you touch me with those nerdy little hands."

"I totally do," Salome sighed. "But you can't wear that--" she tugged on his scarf. "--Patrolling tonight. You'll trip on it."

"So should the Justice League assemble?" Jamie asked, looking around. "Where are Oni and Crawford?"

"Saw them on the way upstairs," Connor commented. "I don't think they want to assemble with anyone but each other."

"Well, we'll just leave those two crazy kids alone then!" Jamie announced, nodding. "Want to head back up to the Dealer's Room? Make sure Andrew's handling the sitch with aplomb?"

"I still don't understand," Salome insisted as Connor led her along. "You guys moved like half the stock from your store down here for the weekend in hopes of making a bigger profit... But there's no one back in Palo Alto to run your store while you're gone."

"Bah!" Jamie waved his hand. "Us working here is totally an excuse to have the weekend off. Come on! With all of the supernatural crazy going on, we deserve to have some debauched weekend of mayhem."

"Debauched?" Mandy repeated, looking around. She raised an eyebrow. "I'm sure they're real party animals."

"Are you kidding me?" Connor laughed. "Saturday night, this place is more intense than Marti Gras! Complete party..." He watched as a girl in strategically placed ribbons passed by. "Better costumes too."

Salome gave him a light hit in the shoulder. "Hey!" She frowned. "And you're acting like you know this from experience."

"Uh..." Connor averted his gaze. "Remember that special Watcher training session Andrew took me on last year right after we moved into Lamia House?" He smiled bashfully. "You didn't wonder why Jamie had to come along?"

Salome's jaw dropped. "You're kidding me!" She hit him again. "Why didn't you tell me?" She demanded.

"We weren't that serious yet!" Connor protested. "You hadn't moved into the house yet and well..." He frowned. "I thought you might dump me for being such a geek."

"How little faith you have in me," Salome sighed. "I've always looked past your surface mega-geekiness." She patted his heart. "And fell in love with your mega-geeky soul."

Connor pointed a finger at her. "You are just a geek in denial. Come on, I know your pseudonyms. No one with the power to travel through dimensions picks 'Wagner' or 'Mallory' by coincidence."

"Romana does kick ass." Salome sighed. "But did it have to be this outfit? I look like a schoolgirl on vacation."

"Well, that part's just for me." Connor grinned as he pulled Salome along. "Come on. Let's make sure Andrew isn't getting into any trouble."

"Ugh." Andrew glanced at his watch. "I hope Jamie will be around to take over soon. I will die if I miss getting autographs from the cast of Battlestar Galatica."

"Wow," Matty laughed. "Anyone ever told you that your geekiness knows no bounds?"

Andrew nodded. "Pretty constantly, actually." His cheeks reddened. "Does it bother you?"

"My last boyfriend and I broke up because of a heated argument about who is the best James Bond. He said Sean Connery."

"George Lazenby," Matty replied. "But that's only because I like saying 'Lazenby'. I'm actually really attached to Timothy--"

Andrew shook his head enthusiastic. "No! It is..." His smile dominated his entire face. "It's really, really cool."

Matty was staring at Andrew. He licked his lips slowly. "Andrew..." He put a hand against Andrew's cheek and began to lean in.

Andrew's eyes widened, but he did not pull away as Matty drew closer and closer. He focused on Matty's lips. Closer... And closer... Andrew leaned in slightly.

There was a scream and Matty pulled away just as he was about to make contact. Andrew's shoulders slumped slightly.

Just then, a display of comics went flying, scattering books over the hardwood floor of the ballroom.

There was another scream as a girl went running. Andrew vaulted over the table and went to see the source of the disturbance.

There were two men-- one dressed as Batman, holding a very large and imposing gun. The one dressed as V just had his fists clenched. "Calm down, babies," V assured the girls as they screamed in terror. "Daddy's not going to hurt you."

"Daddy?" Andrew whispered, a chill going up his spine. "There's something so familiar..."

"Just hand over the money and anything else we like and everything will be just fine," V announced to the dealer's room. "And that gun my friend has? Believe me, it's not just a prop."

Batman fired his gun, which released a laser bolt, melting a Clonetrooper statue at one of the vendors.

"Batman shouldn't use a gun!" Andrew shouted at the men. "It goes against his code of conduct!"

"Always got to be a critic," V commented, looking over Andrew before shaking his head. "All right... No guns." Several security guards surrounded V. "I guess I'll just have to do this the old fashion way."

V whirled around and smashed his fist into the guards, knocking them back concurrently. "Don't really need the fancy stuff anyway. I'm fine on my own."

Matty ran to Andrew, standing at his side. "What do we do?" Matty asked, his voice laced with panic.

"I really don't know," Andrew replied. "This place is huge. I have no idea where Connor and the others are."

There was a girl in a White Queen costume who sobbed profusely. V sauntered over to her. "Aw, baby... Don't cry." He cupped her chin in a gloved hand. "Daddy's going to take good care of you."

The girl pulled away, disgust in her expression. V slapped her hard, knocking her down. "Don't dress like a whore if you're not going to give it up."

V knocked him back as easily as if he were swatting at a fly. "Come on, you really think you can take me?"

Batman was busy going around the vendors, pilfering the lockboxes and any merchandise that seemed to strike his fancy.

Andrew ran to one of the Medieval Arms dealers and grabbed a sword. "Can I borrow this?"

Andrew ran back to the fray, standing in front of V, clutching the sword in both his hands. "You don't want to mess with me, V."

"You can relax," V held up a hand as Batman gave him a thumb's up. "Got what we came for." He headed towards the window and punched it, breaking the glass. Batman ran to his side, clutching a large bag of loot. "We'll be going now." He laughed. "Now enjoy the rest of the convention." He saluted before grabbing Batman by the waist and jumped out the window.

Matty pulled himself back to his feet, groaning in pain. "Man, that guy hits like a Mac truck." He rubbed his neck. "Andrew, are you okay?"

"Is the convention going to be shut down?" Jamie asked worried, pacing in the hotel room. He had removed his hat, wig and fake beard, but was still clad in his pirate clothing.

Andrew shook his head. He has also removed his fake beard. "It looks like the Dealer's Room is out of business for the weekend. It's crawling with cops right now."

"They already took a statement from you, right?" Connor asked. "Anything you want to tell us you didn't tell them?"

"I'm pretty sure they've got some superstrength mojo going for them," Matty commented, gesturing to his face. "Not that it takes a lot to knock me down, but this was way different."

"The big old laser gun you mentioned sounds like more than just magical mojo," Jamie added. "You don't get a lot of that stuff in the Hellmouthish world."

"Uhh..." Andrew started. He then sighed when all eyes were on him. "Nevermind. I'm imaging things."

"So they're superstrong and have sci-fi weapons," Salome reiterated. She stood up and took off her hat. "We can work with that. Whoever it is, they haven't dealt with the Triple Threat."

"Anyway..." Andrew got up. "Considering there are a couple of thousand people here, it's pretty hard to shut the convention down. I think San Jose is suffering from some near-Hellmouth vibes, because the cops are convinced this was a publicity stunt gone awry. There will be tighter security, but things are going ahead as planned."

"And we'll do our own investigation." Mandy nodded. "I mean this is what we do."

"Those guys are probably still here," Connor insisted. "All they had to do was ditch the costumes and they'd be in the clear."

"I'm going to go back to the Dealer's Room." Andrew walked to the door. "See if I can find any clues around there."

Andrew shook his head. "No, I'll go on my own. Easier to sneak in if I'm on my own."

Andrew left the room and started down the hall. He reached the elevator and pressed the button to go down. He waited, rocking back and forth on his heels impatiently.

Andrew whirled around just in time to see the man stepping out of the alcove. He was dressed in a black sweatshirt and jeans, but still wore the V mask. "What?" Andrew whispered. "But..."

The elevator opened and Andrew was grabbed from behind. He looked back and saw the other robber, still wearing his Batman cowl He cried in distress as V shoved them both into the elevator.

"Calm down," Batman insisted. "We're not going to hurt you. Promise." He let go of Andrew. "Would I really do something like that to my favorite brother?"

"Fav..." Andrew's eyes widened as Batman removed his mask, revealing the grinning face of Tucker Wells. "Tucker."

He turned slowly to V. He took a deep breath. "I recognized that voice. When you were robbing the place."

"Smarter than I gave you credit for." V removed his mask. "Maybe the Slayer knocked some sense into you."

Andrew tried to breathe, but found it caught in his throat as he stared at the other man. "Warren."