The Nyazian Prophecies

Andrew paced back and forth in the rebuilt basement of Lamia House. Connor, Salome, Jamie, Oni, Mandy and Matty sat cross-legged in a row in front of him. "All right..." He tapped a pointer against his palm. "All right... So I've just gotten off the phone with the Slayer's Council. Let's go over what we know."

Andrew extended the pointer to gesture to her. "All questions and comments will be withheld until the end of the briefing."

Andrew blushed deeply, smiling at Matty. "Well, I can let that one go." He smacked the pointer against the white board. The heading read WHAT WE KNOW, with a small happy face next to it. "First of all, the fissures from Quortoth are continuing to open. Based on the rate they're expanding, merging will occur on approximately May Twenty-Ninth of this year."

Salome held up her hand and Andrew smacked it with his pointer. "I said after the briefing."

"Ow!" Salome withdrew her hand, rubbing it. "You were a lot nicer before you starting getting all laid and confident."

"So what else do we know?" Andrew continued. "The longer Magnimus is in this dimension, the more she is losing her mind. However, this will begin to shift as the dimensions merge. She'll get her coherence back... And she's also going to get a lot more Godly powers. We're talking lightning bolts and things of wrath. Thankfully..." Andrew nodded to Salome. "The spell Salome used to fracture Magnimus' mind has worked well. We haven't heard from her in a few weeks."

"So you thank me by hitting me," Salome muttered under her breath, still rubbing her sore hand.

"But bad news..." Andrew sighed. "A couple of crazies turned up at the hospital. It seems Magnimus has started to pull Glory's old trick of sucking people's minds. She might turn up again soon."

"Now for what we don't know." Andrew pointed to the other side of the white board, which said WHAT WE DON'T KNOW, with a frowny face beside it. "There's a lot still up there. We don't know how to stop the fissures from Quortoth, except for killing Dawn."

Andrew nodded. "I know. And even if we could, number two on the list... We don't know where Dawn is. She's still missing. The Council received a note from her, but they had no way to trace it. It just said she's okay and she doesn't want to be found."

"Don't blame her," Mandy sighed. "If the only way to stop the fissures is to kill her..."

"It's what we don't got," Andrew sighed. He pointed back at the white board. "We still have no idea where Grandae is and if she is assisting Magnimus with widening the fissures."

"And we don't know if Angel and Spike are still alive," Connor sighed. "They've been in Quortoth for days, which means..."

"Actually." Andrew pulled out a marker. "I forgot to put this on the board." He wrote quickly on the KNOW side: Time is almost the same. "When you were in Quortoth, the worlds were still separate. Time past differently, so you were there for years when only days past here. But with the fissures open, it's regulating. They've probably only been there for a few months."

"And Angel and Spike are fighters," Salome pointed out, squeezing Connor's hand. "No way they're going to get taken out any time soon."

"Anything else we need to know?" Jamie asked. "Not hearing anything new or enlightening..."

"The Slayer's Council is going to be sending us someone," Andrew replied. "To help us out."

Andrew shrugged. "Didn't say. But they should be here tomorrow, so we'll know soon enough."

The demon ran down the street, looking over his shoulder. He was in an utter panic.

Suddenly, the headlights of a motorcycle turned on, blinding him. The demon brought up clawed hands to shield his eyes. He squinted ahead. "How did you... You shouldn't be able to do that. No human could..."


Vincent Kartheiser	Anna Paquin	Bret Harrison	Kou Shibasaki	Allison Mack	and Tom Lenk

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Based on the Characters by Joss Whedon	Created by Emcee

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Special Guest Star

Alexis Denisof
as
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce

Guest Starring

James Franco
Paul McGann
Adam Brody
Freema Agyeman

Written by

Emcee

Salome leaned against the counter of Flying Demon Monkeys, trying to study a large book. She scowled deeply, glancing towards the storage room. "You know, I can hear you in there." She rolled her eyes.

"Who do you think?" Salome sighed. "I think I liked Andrew better when he was desperate and in love with you."

Connor frowned slightly. "So someone would have to be desperate to be in love with me?"

Salome nodded. "Utterly desperate." She leaned over the counter and met Connor's lips in a quick kiss. "I'm not even sure I want to know what they're doing back there."

Andrew exited the storage room, his hair mussed and lips swollen. "I don't give you guys crap about making out."

"The least you could do is make out in front of me," Salome sighed. "I need some entertainment."

"I will not be judged," Salome said firmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I've seen those magazines you think I don't know about. You're not one to throw stones."

Matty exited the back room. "Hey Connor." His cheeks were a bit flush and his glasses askew. "How was class?"

"Fine." Connor replied distractedly, looking around. "What the hell is going on around here?"

"Andrew asked me to watch the counter so he could go make out with his boyfriend," Salome replied. "And I'm about to blow my brains out if I have to read yet another book filled with pretentious prose that give absolutely no hint as to the plan of Magnimus or how to stop the melding of dimensions."

She leaned into his hand. "It's not like we haven't been researching Quortoth non-stop since we found out about the fissures. And it's not like we haven't turned up nothing each time. People are totally freaked out by the idea of Quortoth. They don't even like writing about it. It's just... Dark dimension, can't get there by conventional means, don't even try it."

"--Magnimus and her sisters murdered our God," Salome pointed out. "The only thing the Nyazians ever wrote about them is 'Stay far, far away'." She whined. "My brain hurts."

"You could..." Salome grabbed Connor by the shirt. "You could help me release some tension."

Salome rolled her eyes. "I was talking about sparring. You know? Practicing to fight against hellgods?"

Salome glared at him. "You really think that little of me?" She put a hand to her chest as if mortally wounded. "It's only foreplay when we actually kill things."

Salome shook her head. "Afraid not, Matt. Killing stuff is... Well... Really gets the blood flowing."

Connor leaned in. "You know, you are a wicked woman." He took Salome's hand and led her around the counter. "So we're sparring?"

Salome nodded. "Sounds good." She allowed Connor to lead her towards the door. "You two behave!" She called back at Andrew and Matty. "Actually run your store and stop kissing in the back."

Once out on the street, Connor released Salome's hand. He glanced over at her. "So do you actually want to spar, Baby?"

Salome nodded. "Yeah. Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?" She brushed a lock of hair out of her face.

"Well..." Connor shrugged. "Maybe because that kiss in the store was the most action I've gotten in weeks?"

"I'm talking about the fact that you've been sleeping on the far other side of our bed." Connor shook his head. "Do you want to talk about this, Sal?"

"And now you won't touch me," Connor finished. "But you won't talk about what happened with me."

"I've just been feeling rough," Salome replied. "First it was the monthly stuff, then it was just plain old demon fights." She glared at Connor. "So sorry if I haven't felt like rolling around with you."

"It's not about the sex," Connor sighed. "I just want you to talk to me." He reached out to take Salome's hand. "Come on, this is obviously bugging you..."

"Yes!" Salome snapped angrily. "It is bugging me!" She jerked her hand away from Connor and cradled her head. "It is really and truly bothering me. I thought I was pregnant and it terrified me. And it terrified you. And just as we were all right with it... Turns out, oops... I'm not." She shook her head savagely. "Or else I was and some random vampire made me not pregnant."

"What if it happens again?" Salome murmured. "What if your preternatural swimmers get through again and I get knocked up... And then it goes away because of what we do for a living?" She closed her eyes, shaking her head. "I just don't know if I can do that again."

Connor cradled Salome's face. "So... What? You're never going to touch me again?"

"You've always been fearless," Connor murmured, pulling Salome close. "Don't let it tear you apart now, Baby."

Salome wrapped her arms around Connor's neck, pulling herself against him. He rubbed her back gently, taking in the scent of her hair. "Feel any better?"

Salome stilled, face still buried in Connor's shoulder. "Don't make me smack you."

Doctor Decarabia led the demon out of his examination room. Its arm had been bandaged up. "Just makes sure to keep the bandages clean," Decarabia said. "Come back to see me in a week and I'll make sure it's healing properly."

"He seemed to be very pleasant, considering he nearly had his arm ripped off," Oni commented as the door closed behind the demon.

"I have to say..." Decarabia smiled at Oni. "You're really helping out my business. Before I used to get the worse kinds in here looking for patch work. Had more than a few threats on my life.... Or actual threatening. Having one of the Destroyer's people in that chair really sends a message."

Oni nodded. "I suppose it would. Connor has earned quite a reputation in town as someone who is a nightmare to demons and will protect his compatriots at any cost." She cocked her head. "But, if you don't mind me observing, does it not seem like a lot of powerful demons are coming in with injuries they should not have?"

"There's a lot more out there," Decarabia commented darkly. "The things from Quortoth don't seem to be too picky about what they attack. Demon and human alike."

Oni nodded. "I had heard of an increase in human injuries and fatalities at the local hospital. We have been keeping a running tally. It is most disturbing."

Decarabia placed a hand on Oni's shoulder. "But the Destroyer will be able to handle it. I've heard what he can do. Lorne's like a bragging uncle when it comes to Connor."

Oni looked up, slightly surprised. "You are not fallacious in the statement? I have never heard such things from Krevlornswath." She smiled. "That is most assuring to hear. However, I wish Krevlornswath would mention so to Connor. He could use the encouragement from those outside of the inner circle."

Oni frowned slightly. "She is quite well. Is there any reason she should be otherwise?"

"She came in to see me last week," Decarabia replied. He shook his head. "I shouldn't tell you."

Oni put her hands on her hips. "We have already had a discussion of the ethics Demon Doctors are held to. What is occurring with Salome?"

"I don't care what ethics demon doctors are held to," Decarabia insisted. "I have my own ethics. And you of all people should appreciate what support I give to demons."

Oni's shoulders slumped. "You are, of course, correct." She sat back down behind her desk. "However, Salome is my closest compatriot... Can you at least tell me if she is well?"

Decarabia nodded. "Physically, she's fine. I don't know about emotionally though."

Oni nodded, worrying her lower lip for a moment. "Doctor, would it be all right if I were to leave tonight at nine? We are expecting a representative from the Slayer's Council to arrive. I would like to be present for any announcements."

Oni smiled broadly. "You are very kind, Doctor. I will try to be back in before midnight."

Connor led Salome towards the house. "We know the Pure Scythe does some pretty good damage to Magnimus. What do you think the Nyazian Fang will do to her?"

Salome shrugged. "I dunno if I want to take the chance. The last time I hit her with it, she shattered it to pieces." She looked back at Connor. "But Illyria did give it a nice top off when she reforged it. It might... Actually bounce off of her unscathed."

Connor frowned slightly. "That really doesn't fill me with a lot of confidence, Baby."

"Well, we're fighting a Hellgod from the Darkest of the Dark Worlds," Salome pointed out, rolling her eyes. "How much confidence did you exactly expect?"

Connor nodded. "Fair point. I just wish we could--" He trailed off when he saw Gord sitting on the porch of Lamia House. "Gord." He nodded.

"Connor." Gord nodded back and got to his feet. He held out a small bag. "Andrew left his dice during the last Dungeons and Dragons game."

"He also left this." Gord picked up a book and held it out. "Demon Dimensions and Other Hells."

Gord nodded. "That's what it says." He urged Connor to take the book. "I somehow doubt it's a new expansion for D&D."

"What Andrew decides to read in his spare time is his business," Connor replied coolly, taking the book. "Besides, he's dating the guy who works at the Magic Shop. Maybe he's trying to impress him."

"You're right." Gord nodded. He walked down the walkway, passing by Connor and Salome. "What other explanation could there be?" He turned back briefly. "Except there is Salome's ability to turn purple and disappear at will... Not to mention the people who seem to randomly attack you and explode into dust."

"You shouldn't listen to everything you hear," Connor replied coolly. "People will start to think you're crazy."

"I think you should go now," Salome snapped waspishly at Gord. "You dropped off Andrew's stuff, now it's time for you to keep stepping in the other direction."

Salome turned to Connor. "Okay... What the hell was that all about? I thought Gord was your friend."

"He knows something's going on." Salome grabbed Connor's hand. "Why don't you just tell him? Whatever his paranoid brain is coming up with is a hell of a lot worse than the truth."

"I know Gord," Connor replied, shaking his head. "He won't be able to handle it. Better he think the worst of me than get dragged into this whole thing." He tugged on Salome's hand. "Come on. Let's spar."

"So the bad guys come in from here..." Andrew put an X on a piece of paper. He and Matty were leaning over the counter at Flying Demon Monkeys, surrounded by books and papers. "The front is here..." He placed another X not far away.

Mandy and Jamie entered the store. Mandy peeked over Matty's shoulder. "Discussing battle tactics?" She asked, frowning slightly.

Andrew shook his head. "The military merits of the Battle of Hogwarts in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince."

Matty shrugged. "Hey, I wanted to discuss the rampant homosexual subtext of Harry obsession with Draco, but Andrew started channeling his father."

Andrew scowled. "At least what I wanted to discuss involves skills that can be applied to the current situation with Magnimus."

Matty shook his head. "We're not going to be casting Expelliarmus on a Hellgod."

"You are all sick," Jamie insisted. "And what happened to needing to study the fissures to Quortoth?"

"We're coming up snake eyes," Matty replied. "We've gone through every single book at my store and every single book you guys own. No one wants to say a damn thing about the 'Dark Dimension'."

Andrew sighed. "You think they would at least give us some credit for not making out anymore."

Matty leaned in. "Maybe we should start doing that again to show them how good they've got it."

"He's coming in from Cleveland," Andrew replied. "He's been on the road for days. Wanted to see how the fissures were acting in places between Hellmouths. He should be in tonight."

"So are we expecting a returning guest star?" Jamie asked. "Or this someone new?"

"I really don't know," Andrew sighed. "The Council is being surprisingly quiet about all of this."

"Because that's what we really need when the world is about to merge with hell," Mandy sighed. "Secrets."

"It's not really a secret ," Andrew insisted. "It's just something they're not telling us."

"Don't really see the difference," Mandy replied with a sigh. "So... You want me and Connor out tonight?"

"You're not the one who gets 'accidentally' hit in the face when she misses a vamp." She shrugged. "Well, I'm going to try and get some studying in before I've got to fight. Later, guys."

Mandy left without another word. Jamie nodded. "I think I'm going to go with her. I'm working on a big complicated device that will hopefully shoot stakes."

Jamie turned, walking backwards to the door. He shook his head. "More like a machine gun."

"You're awesome!" Andrew called out after Jamie. He held up a fist in triumph as he left the store.

Connor stumbled as the tentacle hit him in the back. He hit the ground with a groan. After a moment, he pulled himself back to his feet. "This thing is really starting to piss me off."

"I got it, Ace!" Salome called out. She leapt at the demon, wielding the Nyazian Fang. She swung it, severing the beast's tentacle.

"Thanks, baby," Connor replied, grabbing his axe from the ground and turning back around to it. He grimaced. "Okay, I think you just made it mad."

"The madder the better," Mandy replied from her spot on the fire escape. She fired an arrow at its eyes.

"Easy for you to say, Blondie!" Salome yelled as she did a flip to avoid one of the other tentacles. "You're all the way up there!"

"Well--" Mandy began, but one of the tentacles lashed out, hitting her and knocking her off balance. Mandy fell over the railing and began a fast descent to the ground. "Gah!"

Connor raced to her as she fell. With a grunt, he caught her. "Watch those things," Connor reminded her. "Its faster than it looks."

"Thanks," Mandy said, taking a trembling breath. She hopped out of his arms. "So... This thing from Quortoth?"

Connor nodded. "Yeah. A Hudagna Beast. Nasty bastard." He shrugged. "But tasted surprisingly good roasted over a fire."

The Hundagna hit Salome hard, knocking her back against the brick wall of the building. She groaned, letting go of the Nyazian Fang. She tried to reach for her weapon once again, but the Hundagna kept its tenacle on her, holding her down.

"Sal!" Connor called out. "Are you-- Agh!" A tenacle wrapped around his slender waist and lifted him up. It shook him hard. Connor jerked and tried to escape the creature's hold, but the force of its shaking caused him to lose hold on his axe. "Mandy!"

Mandy aimed the crossbow, but it was knocked out of her hand. "Dammit!" She cried. "I lost it!"

"Well, get it back!" Salome yelled, still trying to reach her sword. "It's pressing down on my kidneys."

"It creates the enzyme that lets me teleport!" Salome called back. "Just... Kill this thing!"

"Right!" Mandy nodded, running to retrieve her weapon; but the demon knocked her out of the way. Mandy landed with a hard thump on top of Salome. "Ace?" Salome called out desperately. "Having a bit of trouble here!"

"I'd love to help, baby," Connor growled, trying to get out of the demon's grasp. "But I seem to have stumbled into a very disturbing Japanese anime plot..."

The Hundagna suddenly made an awful noise, a mix of high-pitched squealing and nails on a chalk board. Its tentacle was severed and Connor fell to the ground in a heap. He tried to extract himself from the now dead limb. Blood and slime covered him. "That is really, really gross..."

The Hundagna flailed and writhed as cuts appeared all over its gelatinous body. Gore oozed out of the wounds

"What the hell?" Mandy whispered, trying to sit up. The dying beast swung its tentacles and hit her back to the ground.

Suddenly the beast went still. The wounds grew larger and larger and the Hundanga exploded, spraying flesh and gore all over the alley.

"Holy Moses," Salome grumbled as she pulled herself up. She ran a hand down her front, trying to remove some of the filth. "This has to be the grossest thing we've ever done."

"I thought you needed help," a dark voice said. Connor squinted, seeing someone in the shadows.

"That voice..." Salome whispered as she finally got to her feet. "I know that voice."